November 16, 2001

So far

Feeling-in-the-situation is helping me feel and deal better. That’s the main lesson.

Some stereotyping, don’t like it. Time wasted but learn from it anyway.

Intellectualizing to avoid feeling

When I feel judged, I tend to feel diminished. Avoidance is basic: shut down, solace in pleasure. Intellectualizing? “If I think this through just right, I’ll feel better” is what I’ve noted. And, negative self judging. The lessons are helping.

I asked some friends/coworkers whether I intellectualize to avoid feeling. “No.” Americans say I share my feelings less, that they don’t know what I’m feeling. My dad used to say I was secretive.

What do you think?

I’m interested – what does “purpose/quality of life” mean to you? How does it affect your therapy? Do you see therapy as having a road map?

Sharing one’s feelings, opening up, often leads to advice and, sometimes, minimizing. I think I listen more than give advice. I’ve not found women to be more empathetic than men.

Next

Any thoughts, reading on continuing this work?