August 31, 2001: Possibilities
Its working quietly; needs to grow; be integrated: sub-conscious
Daily “meditation”; connection to meditation and its dimensions and depth
Its dimensions
A map please – if “appropriate”
Being open about it
It’s dulling
Helps, I think, with obsession
Feeling work: it’s essential to do this around others
For my vacation I’ll be alone a lot of the time
Ideas?
Live alone?
The role of counseling; input / suggestions
Reading?
August 31, 2001: The Discussion
Intimate: connection at the level of feeling
How: repeat back to confirm understanding; reflect on the other persons feeling. This gives permission to give feeling feedback. It is valid at times to reflect on, feel the dynamics of the other person.
When: this question is relevant but needs no specific answer now. I wonder if the reason for this was that I found the “method” universally applicable. It is universally applicable if by method I mean, not communication, but being in the present, listening to the feeling context without “judging” what is happening. I do want to connect “feeling” with “thinking” but that is to do with my personal and professional ambitions. There is, I think, a connection between feeling and thought; even though they have distinction.
A discussion of its nature and distinction from ordinary relationships such as friendship
I had said “I give my friends permission to lead me; just as with the counselor” at times. I do do that; the reason I said that was to show that the idea is not foreign, is easy; it was not to equate the two relationships.
Michael Paulus pointed out that I am confused and struggling. I agreed stating that I am not uncomfortable with the confusion; I spend a lot of my time being confused. Confusion, its acceptance, is the dark that precedes [may precede] light. There may have been some difference as to what I am struggling over. The major struggle is acceptance of the end of my relationship with Marta. In a sense I am struggling with the relationship even though she is not “here”. Especially since she is not here. I suspect that, were she here I would be dealing better. I suspect that the potential quality of future relationships is [getting] better. “Struggling” aside; I am learning; with the approach, its dimensions and depth, its automation, and with the amount of “excavation” to be done.
In the moment-to-moment application of being present I have these observations. I am using with a good degree of success: my presence with others is more comfortable; communication whether regarding feeling or thought or practical concerns is improving; my presence with my self is improving; I am ferreting out the negative “self-talk” – that is metaphorical because it is present like a matrix of feeling rather than linear talk and dealing with it quicker… this is part of being more comfortable with myself; I am becoming even more comfortable with being / doing while uncomfortable: tiredness, emotional discomfort; and there is a therapeutic dimension with my patients at work that is developing.
The therapeutic dimension includes dealing with anger and distress; and the return to comfort of severely distressed patients. The approach is a combination of focus on feeling, human contact, channeling of the patients present emotional and cognitive commitments.