The session of July 20, 2001

What I got.

The choice: remain in crisis vs. growth.

Not merely a tool for this situation. But a general tool for living: action and choice.

Validation.

What I did.

Accelerated the move out

Did not say that I would be superficially polite

Did say I cared

Did say I wanted a part of “love” to die. The part that is the special bond that makes me miss her, makes me feel weird that she is with someone else.

Initially hesitated to say counseling was the only way because I did not want to suggest that I was interested. But did say that and that there could be no guarantees. Also noted practical problems in addition to the “pure” relationship ones.

Thought / wrote my feelings after the appointment

Where I’m at.

Getting accustomed to being apart. Still miss her. More at times with an occasional pang. It’s not a crushing burden. It will be weird when she comes back to work; that might make the transition harder but more solid.

Getting used to the new house. It’s a lovely situation with an old friend. It’s a wholesome environment. And getting back on track. Missing someone’s face to look at over coffee in the morning… a little depressed… is the Prozac helping?

What I might get.

Myself: the approach through who/what I am

Other tools: the approach through action

Relationships: what I learned should not be a one time thing. Applies to all relationships – love mainly but other social, work and not merely when in crisis… the main mistake with Marta: not getting out earlier / not realizing earlier that there were real problems and insisting on counseling as a necessary condition [without guarantees]

My life…

Do not want long term therapy