Issues
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I
am not assigning cause. I love you, love you, love you. |
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1 |
Trust. Solution: do what we do. If trustworthy, trust will follow. If not it is not deserved. |
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Hanging out with splitters. |
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Comments to others comes here too. I want you to have all the freedom you need and deserve. Sometimes comments can set up an unnecessarily negative environment. Maybe I am sensitive. But, maybe, better to let others see -- or, at least, a combination. |
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2 |
Drugs |
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Alcohol. For me = do not need; destructive; can get what I want anyway. For Marta and me: it is relationship suicide. Even though Marta says "I don't mind" she does mind at some level. For Marta, the issue of alcohol is [seems to be] more than a problem - it is a trigger; even hanging around others' inebriated behavior is a trigger. |
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Pot? |
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Solution: time and behavior... not diagnosis; e.g. DSM IV does not confirm the AA stereotypes. |
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3 |
Partner |
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Only an issue for construction. |
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4 |
Discussing issues |
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Solution 1: time and space to discuss. |
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Solution 2: try mutual solution. |
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5 |
Sensitivity |
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Solution 1: stop it. |
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Solution 2: feeling before reaction. Hard - easier to react than to admit vulnerable reaction. But avoids stupid conflict, encourages understanding and relationship. I promise I love you. |
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6 |
Fear of pain and loss |
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Solution 1: Accept the situation. The river. Live with it; have fun anyway... other relationship possibilities with Marta |
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But losing the potential without trying would be tragic. Set it up. How much time effort? |
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Solution 2: If it were late in the relationship superficial problems would have surfaced and so the problem would be deep. Since its eoblem may be superficial [but triggering fear]... or it may be deep. If superficial there should be a solution. What and how to know? Sources of information. |
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7 |
Negativity |
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You make more negative
comments than I |