ࡱ>  bjbj ?gg5QF"0"0========8>>t=*`?B"2B2B2BzC`E FX##FFFFFF$+jQ=dFzCzCdFdFj==2B2BH H H HdFR=2B=2B# HdF# H Hjbf2BީgFd20dG|dff=/g_dFdF HdFdFdFdFdFjjGdFdFdFdFdFdFdFdFdFdFdFdFdFdFdFdF"0X z<: HYPERLINK "../../../../"HomeLegend(detail | now, tempThe way in life, death, and beyondrealization of limitlessnessdimensions:  HYPERLINK \l "mindfulness" psyche,  HYPERLINK \l "nature_culture" nature-culture-society,  HYPERLINK \l "universal" the universal(Mindfulnessattitude-actionmeditative-active being in the experiential-pragmatic and limitless worldNature, culture, and societythe world as found and madeimmersion in nature and cultureliving and travel(Reflection, sharing, writing, and publishingThe universalthe limitless world as we are and become itProjects for the way ( HYPERLINK \l "developing_the_way" develop-write the way,  HYPERLINK \l "travel" immersion-travel,  HYPERLINK \l "publish" publish-share the way) (Developing the wayintrinsically-instrumentally and attitudinally-actively, in all pure and pragmatic dimensions of beingTravel (HYPERLINK "../../../../2020/personal/current sequence.html" \l "trips"cur trips-HYPERLINK "../../../../2020/personal/hiking list.html"hike list-HYPERLINK "../../../../2020/personal/trip preparation.xlsm"prep-HYPERLINK "../../../../2020/personal/bus times.docm"bus:  HYPERLINK "https://hta.org/" humb- HYPERLINK "http://trinitytransit.org/" trin- HYPERLINK "https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/" gdocs)Jan 1, 2022 (review) (i) one year isolation (ii) nature-culture journeys(A years isolation _______________________________________________________________________________________Nature, culture journeys _________________________________________________________________________________Publishstudy-reflect-write: HYPERLINK "../../../../2020/narratives/bare content.html"bare content > essay, HYPERLINK "../../../../2020/plan.html"minimal site > write-in-the-world > access, HYPERLINK "../../../../2020/index.html"site, advertise-publicize-HYPERLINK "../../../../2020/topic essays/lessons for the way of being.html" \o "The lessons shall be modified for content, appeal, and persuasion"talks(The narrative(the way of being contents( TOC \b "narrative"\n\h \t "List 5,5" \z  HYPERLINK \l "_Toc73682466" into the way HYPERLINK \l "_Toc73682467" the world HYPERLINK \l "_Toc73682468" the way HYPERLINK \l "_Toc73682469" into the worldthe way of being narrative(this workspace is currently minimalinto the waythe worldthe wayinto the worldReading listlogic, free will, add __________________________________________________________________________Regular activitiesthe way (mainly experiential and  HYPERLINK \l "spiritual" spiritual) and supporting (mainly  HYPERLINK \l "material" material)(Spiritual, inner, timeless(Meditation Shamathaemptying, calming; Vipasanareflecting, redirectingHYPERLINK "../../../../2020/personal/therapeutic/therapy.html"Attitude (also see Today)(Meditative presenceaware, relaxed, reflective, and no mindNeutral engagementdisengage, have request listening assert and request boundaries, limitsAwareness of state neutral vs judgmental state > affirm positive, redirect negative(Hold without judging, breath, relax muscles, tolerate, examine its me, not HYPERLINK "../../../../2020/personal/other people/dealing with other people.html"others > (re)direct, two-minute meditation-stretch > kindness to, do not avoid self or other were all trying > dedicate ( to the ultimate > move onPatience > Integrity of identityWork on integrity; patience with pain; healthy behavior; work on independence from affirmation by othersMaterial, outer, temporal (also see projects, below). Events(Life _________________________________________________________________________________________________Annualtax, Christmas, Robin 2/7, Veda Elise 8/1, Carissa 8/10, Beverly 8/15, Kathleen 11/8, Wendy 11/21 ______________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________Month, bi-week, week __________________________________________________________________________________Sundayrelax _________________________________________________________________________________________Thu or SatChores. Sundayrelax. See  HYPERLINK \l "today" today. _______________________________________________________________Now( HYPERLINK \l "the_essentials" current essentials,  HYPERLINK \l "trip_prep" travel prep,  HYPERLINK \l "material" health,  HYPERLINK \l "people" people)Essentialsstep back, review > know-dedicate-redirect pain( > work-HYPERLINK "../../../../2020/personal/financial plan.xlsm"$30K- HYPERLINK "https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/personalfinance/what-is-financial-counseling-and-do-you-need-it/ar-BB16XXpk" counsel| HYPERLINK "../../../../2020/personal/therapeutic/looking for a place to stay.docm"place: travel base hum-trin-us-mex > 18- CACalendaryear taxes, birthdays, Christmas; 2022years isolation, nature-culture journeys | develop below (Develop and place calendar hereTravel, immersion, trips plan & prep next > details below > Hike/pack daily > USFS > cash, laundry, bank > pack, min > fresh veg(PlanningWhen criteria: weatherWhere research RNP, W Ck, Six Rivers, Trinity Junction City campground (call JC Store) ride to trail heads (night at or hear trail head), HWY 3Future tripsbackpacking and bikingPreparationwhen written, put essentials into main heading Next trip, aboveMinimizing gear means saving timeMiscdye; umbrella / hat; small ground sheetcut, organize and minimize of stuff sacks; shaver (new, try out)Efficiency and weightfasten side pocket; loose pants; wind vs reg pants; no rain pants; less food, fuel; sneakers vs sandals; bivvyclothes peg, stakes, guy line, what are the attachments for; med sack; water sack? papers; cook kit; just one toothpastePriorities (from the previous trip > modify for next trip)GeneralHow, what to realize, reflectThe way, share, publishDedicationLife problems (sibling)My lifeThe way, above$ Work, otherPlace, generalEureka, Arcata ( Humboldt ( Del Norte, Trinity( CA, US (Mexico, World (Isolation, 6 months, 1 year+Intrinsic / extrinsicIntrinsicMeditate, nature watchHikeExtrinsicX, stretchHikeWeavervilleRealtorsInternetWord of mouthApartmentsHealthposture, exercise > water, one meal a day (diet research: home and packing) > ( meds (0.5 tab), ( sugar, mole, no beerPeopleR > 0.5 h prep, 1 day / month, no deferment; boundaries | G > neutrally | S > deal, dismiss | C > her initiative(Robinnext conversationDialetheia, coffee cup, volcano, StephanieMost importantwriting, becoming, immersion nature and cultureThe problemserious; years not just a few recent calls; but on and off; good times too but diminishing since 2013; seems difficult to communicate (gap), so must communicate clearly and firmly; no blame, do not want to hurt or make angryRobinPreliminaryPlanWrite it out, giving free reign to flow of ideas (cross out what will most likely not go to Robin)Write it upSummarize itThere is a significant problemIt is not new, has been on and off for years, but has gotten severe recentlyI have complained from time to timeIt is now time to actI have to be careful talking about it becauseI will not experience the problem for the remaining 20 or so years of my lifeI have not been clear enough in the pastBecause I want a solution, there is no question of fault or blameI must be clear and firm; I must take responsibility for my lifeI do not want to give cause for hurt, anger, or upsetThe most important activities and values for the remainder of my life (and I doubt I have the full 20 years or so)My project on discovery and realization of beingReflection, writing, publishingImmersion in nature and culturesImmersion in selfmeditationLive in a place and with people that facilitate the projectTravelFor enjoymentAs part of the projectBe happyI am reasonably self sufficient (people lie on a continuum)Not be unhappy in my relationships (friends, brother, other)Be usefulI think my project has the potential to be usefulProblem (s)There are certain interactions we have, things you say that have come to have a severely negative impact on the way I feel, the effectiveness with which I live, and even my health. I associate three things with thisJudgmental probing, negative judgments about my life and choices, advice (A)Yes, there is some sense in which you have the right to say what you want. But that does not make it right.There are things you have said that you do not want to talk about. I have avoided them (assiduously). This is not an argument that you are wrong. But it shows you what my attitude is. In avoiding what you do not like to talk about, I am respecting you.It is strange that you have had no hesitation to give advice and to be judgmental. I know it is hard for you to not blurt out things. I do not blame you for your personality. However, you should know that some experts on relationships (work and family) hold that advice giving can be counter to good communication and to problem solving.So it seems to be me that you do not have an independent value system. Rather, you have absorbed, been successful with, a certain set of social values, but not outgrown themand so see those values as the values and instinctively propagate them, rather as we breathe air. This is an explanation of why you come across as presumptuous, overbearing, harsh, angry, and sarcastic (at times). Of course, you fancy yourself as nice, as rational, and hence your denialyour retelling and reinterpreting of your behavior after the fact. But the values in question are not ultimate relative to the universal, nor are they what furthers society. They are part of the machinery of our society.Your hyperjudgmental aspect of even the meaning of what I say and then judging your own interpretation.Should I give you advice, it would be to look at yourself. It will be a long time till you see and become yourself.The problem is not new. It is not there all the time. But it is on and off. But it is severe and detrimental to me. So how can I solve this problem?I can look at myself and ask what I can do to change. Ive tried and tried and will continue to try. But nowI must act. See solution belowSomehow you do not seem to see me as I am. Im not sure that you really listenSolutionSchedule of phone callsI would like once a month callsWith exceptions for special situationsI will not call leading up to, around, or during tripsI want reassurance you will avoid and actually avoid three behaviors I currently associate with the negative effect on my life, efficiency, and health(i) judgmental probing, (ii) sharing negative judgments on my life and choices, and (iii) adviceConsequenceswithout reassurance or if the behaviors continue, I will not talk to you until I do get reassurance and, then, find that the behaviors do not continueYou can always email or leave a phone messageVisiting Americaif and when you visit and spend time with me, I want you to talk to me before setting datesNo explanationConsequencesI am aware of and accept the fact that you may set conditions and consequencesNotes to addfair out; may write A and B separately; summary + essentials vs inessentials vs remarks to me and what will not be said; some sense in which you have a right but even if granted, that does not make it right and it shows what I consider disrespect, which has nothing to do with age etc but being human e.g. things you have said you dont like to talk about, I assiduously avoid; project most important ( call once a month b4 earlier points so it doesnt seem as though Im avoiding; make a list of fears; issue of bitchy denialSummaryas preliminary, I will note that I think you may misunderstand what I am saying this is about: it is not about four or five recent conversations (they are significant)rather, it is a cumulative effect; as a second preliminary, I will note that the only reason to hesitate in this is that you may find it unpleasantbut if I do not address the issue, it will muddle on as it has for some time; rationally of course, there is no reason for you to feel this way, for I am not talking of blame or fault or even reasons (and I should emphasize that I am neither angry nor looking to fault you)or even of their absence, but rather of my taking responsibility for and acting upon a serious issue (yet, I know it is not easy to be non-emotional in such issues); now coming to the meat of the issuethere are things you say which make it very stressful for me (and I do not want to feel as though you are monitoring me or think of yourself as if in an advisory capacity); I know you feel (think) you want to help, but the effect is not that; yes, there is some sense in which you have a right, but, even granting that, that does not make it righte.g., there are certain things you have said you dont like to talk about and I assiduously avoid them; and as secondary issues, this advising retards communication, real issue exploration by being just a sounding board, and focus on what is really important in life and the world; but, now returning mainly to the primary issue, there are certain things Im going to do as proposed resolution of the issue (i) Ive tried and continue to try to avoid and eliminate, or at least minimize the stress but this has not worked so far, (ii) especially to make my life work efficient, call once a monthsay the first Tuesday or Thursday, if Im home, (iii) not call leading up to, around, or during vacations, (iv) request that you stop A below, but if you do not or if A continues, I will not call you till the situation changesi.e., I am reassured that it will not continue (v) this will be in place in all future interaction with you (or until I feel permanently reassured) (vi) I do want you to visit as I owe this to us and hope to enjoy it, but if and when you make plans to visit me, I want you to and ask that check with me about datesProblemsome interactions as I perceive them (A = judgmental probing, e.g. about who I know in Weaverville or who I am spending Christmases and birthdays with, negative judgmental statements about me and my choices, and advice) have a severe detrimental effect (B = pall, lifeenjoyment, goals, health); this has been happening on and off for 20 years; the most recent interaction was May 18, a week before my recent trip to Weaverville, and the effect B has gone on for over month (today is  DATE \@ "MMMM d" June 22); Ive objected a number of times and asked that you stop A, but perhaps not clearly and firmly enough.What is more, I am paying this severe cost with no benefit, for all your advice on important matters is either trivially obvious or absurd for my situation.What I mean by judgmental is a tendency to make judgments based on inadequate information (and likely based on projection). It seems to me that you are judgmental and that it is difficult for you to not blurt out what you think in the moment. It may be commendable as honest but in my experience it is not based in adequate perception. I am not sure how aware of this you are but you have a tendency to paint a picture of yourself that is rosier that you are. Im not sure where judgmentalism comes from (in general), but giving unasked for advice says here is a solution to a problem that is not a problem. It is a subconscious way in which a sense of insecurity about life is transferred among people, especially in families. Judging makes it difficult to hear what the other person is really saying. It is important this is not about criticism or blame. That is I am not asserting the presence or absence of fault. Rather, it is about me taking responsibility.I now realizethat mere asking leads at most to temporary lifting of A. I have about 20 years left (give or take) and I will not tolerate this for the rest of my life (even for the sake of the brother that I love). I have to be clear and firm that A must stop and moreI must take responsibility for myself and act.Solution(i) Try to overcome B; I have not been successful so far (ii) I ask you to reassure me that A will stop. If you decide that you will not (or if and when the behavior continues), I will not call you until the situation changes. (iii) This will be in place for all future interaction with you. If you think that I am punishing you or exacting revenge, it is nothing like that. I am fighting for (the quality of) my life. (iv) I want to talk to you once a month and not leading up to or during vacations. (v) If and when you make plans to visit me, I want you to check with me about dates.Internal solution ideasgeneral life approach above, work on TWB and projects, isolateHYPERLINK "../../../../2020/personal/Versions/main priorities-June 14, 2021, second version.docm"detailToday( Wake ( Dedicate-affirm ( Rise . Water . Review life, the way, the day . times-alarms _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Attitude Awareness > redirect . Neutral engagement . Meditative presence . Patience>identity integrity _ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________( Projects and activities, above, especially HYPERLINK "../../../../2020/narratives/bare content.docm"bare content . Music ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Continue projects after _________ below _________________________________________________________( Walk . Stretch, weights, grip, knee bends . Meditate . Lunch ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Chores for the day (Sunrelax, TueR) _________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ Thu / SatChores (Thu / SatChores > This > Hair, feet > Clean > Cash > Supplies for cooking what I have, pulses, grains, vegetables, nuts, tortillas, yogurt | cleaners paper food-storage | meds, toilet| stamps, envelopes, cards | maintain clothes, gear, bike ___________________________________________________________________________________________________( Exercise TTHSAT ____________ &OR Walk-bike with nature photography MWF ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________( PM PMX . 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