April 11, 1996

Dear Robin, Susan, Chris & Ali

Susan - thank you for the letter & photographs.

Your lives seem hectic with many goings, comings & happenings…like the world of 10,000 things of 'Chinese' religion. I hope you are also able to experience the more connected, related, centered world.

Thank you for the news of family. I am glad that all parents seem to be doing well.

I hope that Chris will continue to enjoy his relation with David. Congratulations, Ali, on doing so well in the senior schools entry; I hope you will like your new school.

I have seen six films this year - all good. The one that really stands out, to me, is 'Dead Man Walking' - about the relationship between a nun and an inmate on Death Row in Louisiana. It was one of the most powerful films I have seen. Yes, Susan, (in response to an earlier letter) I have seen "The Shawshank Redemption' which I thought was very good.

I have enjoyed the D-Ream tape. Some recent additions to my small collection of tapes are: African music from Nigeria, Mali, & Sudan, Simon & Garfunkel's Greatest Hits, The Beatles Live at the BBC - from the 60s, The Doors. I recently retrieved my record collection from Joan's barn. The collection includes records of The Mahavishnu Orchestra - psychedelic rock from the 70s, John Lennon, The Beatles, American folk music, various piano concerti, Gregorian chants, George Gershwin, and 'An Anthology of Indian Music'.

My life? I work - I enjoy this but there are also conflicts & some loss of energy & intensity for the rest of my life. I cook once a week for the whole week. Entertainment: friends, cinema, and music. I have been spending time with an old girlfriend - Gail - recently; just friends though. Projects since my visit to England: October in the mountains last year I resolved to begin the next version of Evolution and Design and am slowly building up toward this. Some notes on personality & change have been written. The essay 'Reflections on The Problems of Consciousness' was first written in December 95; the present version is the third. 'Assist' has finally been typed & proofread - it was written early in 1995 & Mum/Dad have an outline. 'Assist' is short for "A System of Integrated Software Tools for Research'. It is a design of a software system to help in all phases of the knowledge/ research/synthesis process. As far as possible it is based upon existing, readily available software.

At the center of my awareness & life is what I perceive to be my relation with the universe of which I am a part. I like to think & I hope that there is a balance between being/flowing & doing/willing. The 'doing' is the sum of the two major projects that I have set for myself: (1) a search into fundamental knowledge & a record of this search in 'Evolution, Design & The Absolute' - the next version of E&D. The more ambitious version of this project includes "Self-Knowledge & Transformation", & applications… & (2) The Journey-Quest which centers around spending time in, having experience of, & learning from the natural or wild world. The objectives of these projects are related & complementary.

The idea of working in academics/with philosophers/getting an alternative, higher paying position, is as a means to the ends just stated. And though I might enjoy these possibilities they are, in a larger picture, merely means to the ends. I believe I can & will further these ends situated as I am. At least that is my intent. And even though the pace sometimes seems slow on a day to day or week to week basis there appears to be a definite personal accomplishment when I look back over the last one, two, or three years or more.

In an even broader picture the ends (1) & (2) themselves become means. Years ago they were of interest in themselves. They remain of interest but not merely in themselves. I have found that the pursuit has brought me into an equilibrium, a plateau beyond the search, an understanding of its nature and purposes. What began as an "adventure of ideas" became an adventure of & affected my whole being… This is objective #(3): equilibrium, being/flowing of course in balance - sometimes awkwardly so - with the doing/willing projects (1) & (2) which remain intrinsically interesting but have also become something of a sacrifice, a dedication, an attempt at contribution to the world.

At the end of April I will take another trip to San Francisco. The Immigration Service wants my fingerprints. I will also attempt to do something enjoyable. And I hope to do one and only one of the following: speak to professional philosophers; look for work in engineering &or teaching &or research; speak to faculty at the University of California at San Francisco about studying medicine. "Only one" because I don't want to try to do so much that I do nothing well.

At the end of June I will become 'vested' in the State Retirement System through my present job & I will therefore not be leaving it before the end of June unless offered a position in the public sector.

I end with love to all.