Subj:	Re: 
Date:	99-03-19 01:59:28 EST
From:	Anilmitra
To:	dolf@powernet.net

Thanks for your kind note.

My mom was one of my favorite people.

Her physical health had been going downhill for years. Mentally, she remained sharp and alive. Then, in December - the day after Christmas - she had a stroke. I thought I would never be able to talk to her again and mourned then but felt fortunate that we had had a lovely talk the night before. She recovered and showed something of her former self. But, I think she was depressed - the years of rheumatoid arthritis and other complaints were taking an emotional toll. My brother and sister in law thought she was faking it. My response was - so what, she's still in very poor shape. She came home from the hospital Monday last week and promptly broke her artificial hip. Not quite as painful as breaking an actual hip but I thought she did not have much time to live. I think that my father and brother did not accept this. Friday, a week ago she developed complications including pneumonia and renal failure, Sunday she went into a coma and she died early morning [our time] Wednesday, St. Patrick's day. She was 1/4 Irish - the rest being Welsh. We had had many lovely talks over the past few years, and I would feel sad from time to time at the failing healty of the person who knew how to enjoy life and who taught me something about how to enjoy life [my dad believes in hard work more than anything else.]

The point to the above, besides thinking it over and sharing, is that I had done some mourning over time, and had in some of the conversations made a peace with her and we had both acknowledged our love and that she would likely die reasonably soon and that any phone call might well be our last. So, while I'm sad, I'm lucky to have been partially ready...and I feel we had said farewell. At times I feel her positive personal presence, at times I feel the loss but the loss is not so painful that I want it to go away.

Maybe these words are excessive in a note of thanks but I felt that the warmth you have shown in the past and in your note deserved something more than a merely formal response.

St. Patrick's day, I went to Sean Egan's for corned beef, potatoes and cabbage. Had a good time, got hammered. The Irish music at Sean's and, later, at Cafe Tomo was reminded me of mom who loved music especially the folk music of Britain and Ireland.

Much love,
Anil