From:
kumarjaising@yahoo.com
YOU CAN WIN
OVER FEAR
Sharon Bray-McPherson
If you really want to do something bad enough you
will always find a way. If not, you will find excuses - and the number one
excuse we use most is FEAR! We may not always specify it as such but fear is
very often the deep-rooted reason for most of our excuses.
First let's look at an acronym that sums up what fear
really is in most cases.
False Expectations Appearing Real
I say in most cases because there is such a thing as a
"healthy fear". You fear stepping off the curb into oncoming traffic
because you realize the consequences of what will happen. If you are not a
swimmer, you fear going into the deep end of the pool because of the certainty of
drowning. These examples can be classified more as common sense thinking than
true fear.
But let's talk about the fear factor as it
relates to our business. The fear that this article wishes to emphasize is, The
Fear of Trying - and more often than not The Fear of Trying is actually The
Fear of Failing.
The easiest way to combat fear is by not using
excuses. Instead, you need to look for positive approaches to help you
accomplish your goal. If you want to start a business, attend a meeting at the
Better Business Bureau. Read some national magazines like
"Entrepreneur", "Home Business Connection" or
"Fortune." Start reading the business section of your local
newspaper. Visit the library and read everything you can about starting your
own business.
Gather some ideas and do some research before
actually jumping into a business. Decide what type of business you want to go
into - then learn everything you can about your product or service. Being knowledgeable
will make you less likely to appear as a dunce in the field you have chosen.
This is the fear that many people have when explaining
their business to others. That others will think you don't know what you're
talking about. Read books or listen to tapes on self-help and/or public
speaking if you have doubts about your ability to speak with confidence,
enthusiasm and motivation about the business that you have chosen.
Also, begin associating yourself with people who
are in business already. Attend local business-related seminars in your
community. Start watching television shows that are related to business. You'll
eventually find people to associate with who know others and you'll be a part
of a new crowd - the motivated ones! This is called Networking.
Fear is always your enemy. Look at it this way:
If you never try, fear wins by 100%. If you need a place to live and only have
$10 to your name would you allow fear to win and make you homeless? No, most of
us would find a job or borrow the money to have a roof over our heads! Fear can
be a great motivator, but it is also the root of failure, depression and lifelong
problems.
Fear will also cause you to lose out on many
things in life. If you fear the boss at work is going to fire you it will
naturally be on your mind all the time. You will get depressed and build up
resentments that may have never been there in the first place. It will
eventually wear you down and you will begin making mistakes on the job or even worse
- taking out your frustration on your friends and family.
Facing fear head on is the best way to combat it.
If you think your job is on the line - ask. It takes guts, but isn't it better
than putting yourself through agonizing torture? Asking the boss "if"
they are thinking about firing you will put you in no different position than
you are in right now. In fact it could have the opposite effect. The boss will
more than likely respect you for your candidness and ability to face fear
head-on.
Complaining is also an act that emotionally
drains you and goes hand-in-hand with fear. In fact, fear is normally the root
of any complaint. Someone that I know is one of the most fear-laden people I've
ever met. If there is not something to be fearful or worry about - she will
invent it. She complains constantly - about anything and everything - she is
also full of negativity. And although I care about her very much and would like
to spend more time with her, I don't. Because I refuse to let her negative outlook
and FEAR permeate me. The enemy of fear can isolate you from friends and
family, which in turn leads to the fear of being alone. It's a cycle that needs
to be and CAN be broken.
For two years I surrendered to the enemy. I
became a virtual prisoner in my own home. I wouldn't venture any farther than
the end of my driveway. I let fear rule my life.
After seeing what my fear was doing to my
husband, my children and most importantly - myself - I decided that Enough was
Enough! I looked the enemy straight in the eye and took it on. Was it easy? No!
There were many times I left a cart full of groceries in the middle of the
store and ran to the comfort of home. But eventually, little by little, I
learned to conquer it. How? With prayer, reading motivational literature, and
talking to myself...ALOT!
I had to constantly remind myself that the fear
that I was feeling was just an emotion - a - False Expectation Appearing Real.
I repeatedly reaffirmed to myself that I WAS IN CONTROL, not something that
MIGHT happen. I kept remembering something that my Grandmother used to say, "That
which doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger". And as a Christian I knew
that, "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13
That battle took place over 13 years ago. Today I
travel anywhere I want or need to go. There are still times I feel fear
creeping up on me when I'm facing a new or difficult challenge. It is then that
I find myself relying on the words of a Nike commercial that we've all seen
(see, advertising does pay :-). The words - Just Do It - have done wonders for
me many times.
You may be asking how my example relates to your
business? Fear has no respect for the person or circumstance. It's still False
Expectations Appearing Real no matter what it relates to.
Face it head on and determine that you will NOT
let it get the best of you. After all what is the thing that we all fear most?
Death. And even though you may think that making those first few prospecting
calls, doing a sales presentation or introducing your business to others will
kill you...believe me, it won't!
Is FEAR holding you back from success in business
or accomplishing your goals in life?
You can change that! It might not be easy but YOU
CAN DO IT!